The only way out is through…
You can numb it, avoid it, bury it or ignore the pain, but there is no doubt in my mind that you cannot escape from it!
Feel it!! Its going to fucking hurt and it’s going to be uncomfortable.
But every moment you are hurting, you are healing too. Feeling your pain in its entirety, is s necessary step to healing.
“Emotional pain cannot not kill you, but running from it can. Allow. Embrace. Let yourself feel. Let yourself heal.” – Vorinka Tugaleva
Give yourself permission to let go and feel the suffering. Trust that you will not die from it. Easy said then done I know, right... No one likes to feel pain, whether that be emotional pain or physical pain.
When you allow yourself to experience the uncomfortable feelings, the heartache, the pain and sorrow that has immerged from it, you’re doing the work. The work being your healing and transformation out of the pain and suffering and into a better, happier version of you.
Because the only way out is through...
You could distract yourself with shiny object syndrome and disengage from the pain, but know this... is will still be there tomorrow, next week, next year and thereafter festering and manifesting into something uglier in your body, creating dis-ease.
The meaning of dis-ease from the 1400’s Old French word ‘desaise’; des - “without, away” and aise – “ease". Without ease. An abnormal condition that causes discomfort or dysfunction in an animal, human or plant.
There are many reasons why dis-ease can occur; from external factors such as pathogens, injuries and promiscuity. Dis-ease can also form in the body from our thoughts.
Our thoughts are very powerful, they can in fact create dis-ease. The biggest example of this is stress and/or negative thinking. Its is what’s called the body mind connection. This means that our thoughts, feeling, beliefs and attitudes can positively or negatively impact our biological functioning.
In other words our minds can affect how healthy our body's are!
So getting back to my original as statement; “you have to feel it to heal it”.
How can you feel ‘it' (the emotions you feel) in order to release the emotions caused by a situation, event or circumstance and even an over active imagination that has created an unrealistic way of thinking and being.
Feeling it can be different from one person to the next. What works for one person may not work for another.
I’m a feeler and delver. I like to work through my emotions and feelings, so that I can better understand who I am, why I do certain things and how I can be the best version of me.
So I’ve tried and tested maaaany things...
Here a few that work for me.
• Embodiment - Placing one hand on my heart and thr other on my belly. I don't think about what’s going in my head, I drop into my body. Sitting in silence I breathe into my belly and focus my minds eye onto my heart, ‘sensing’ what is going on in my body and if anything pops up intuitively.
If an emotion or feeling comes up in an area of my body or simply listening to my heart voice – I acknowledge it, thank it and move on. I may need to stay there for awhile until I feel the emotion has eased or gone. And in some cases release the emotions through Rekindle Ancient Wisdom kinesiology.
• Crying – a good ol' cry can be magic! And I love magic, so I’m quite a good crier when I need to be. Crying has been proven to release stress, so I’m up for that!
When we cry in response to a stressful event or an emotional charge, the tears we cry contain a number of stress hormones and other chemicals. Shedding emotional tears releases oxytocin (sometimes called the love hormone) and endorphins (feel good hormone), helping to improve our mood.
Crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system (PSN), which helps us to relax and self-sooth. The more you cry, the more you release and the more you heal. Science suggests not crying could mean missing put on a range of benefits. So men... Cry is NOT a sign of weakness, in fact if is sexy as fuck to some women!
• Talk Therapy – talking to a trusted friend to get a different perspective on how I’m feeling is a huge help for me as I love to talk (and cry) if I’m having a hard time trying to understand something. For some people, professional help is best. Ic this is the case for you, choose someone who you feel comfortable with and who has the requirement and skills you need.
• Exercise – a big stress reliever for me! Either a workout at the gym, yoga, bike riding, hiking or my favourite; dancing! I love to dance. I often put the music on loud and dance in the kitchen or the shower. Yes. I dance in the shower! Physical activity produces those feel good hormones, endorphins and they also reduce the perception of pain.
• Journaling – I looooove free flow writing. No thinking, just allowing. Journaling can help to re-organise my thoughts and put words to how I’m feeling. It gives clarity and promotes problem solving. Most days I like to write. But on days where I’m feeling overwhelmed, I write and write some more until I feel I have clarity and a sense of comfort.
There are many way ‘to feel it to heal it'. What works for me may not work for you. I’m of the belief that whatever works to feel, release and heal... just do it!
Numbing, avoiding, disengaging and distractions will only create disharmony, disease and depression.
In end, living your life surviving rather than thriving.... a life unfulfilled.